One of the things I've noticed in my forties, is that a lot of friends and acquaintances have divorced or are heading for divorce.
When I first began coaching, I focused on marriages, because it bothered me that so many people were heading in this direction, once the kids got older or left the nest.
And please don't get me wrong. I know divorce happens and I'm not against it if it's the right decision for you, but I wanted to figure out and try to help where I could.
What I found was that most women, (I'm not saying all women) but most women I spoke to or worked with had focused on their kids, lost pieces of themselves because they put everyone's needs before their own and believed their husband would be there when the kids finally left the nest, only to find a major disconnect which eventually led to separation or divorce.
If you know any part of my story, hubbs and I were a disaster 5 years into our marriage. Communication was a major block for us, which left us frustrated, resentful and wondering how we were ever going to come out of this in tact.
When I finally had my wake up call, my husband literally told me he was leaving when we got home from vacation in September of 2002, I realized that wasn't what I wanted.
I wanted my marriage. I wanted my husband, and I didn't want the disconnect that was so apparent between us.
I made it a point to get intentional, work on me (before you get too upset about this, do realize, you can only change yourself, not anyone else) and make my marriage everything I wanted.
It took work, it took me looking at places inside of me that needed healing, and it took getting vulnerable.
Let's fast forward....we've now been married for 23 1/2 years, our marriage is solid and secure, and it's super fun and super sexy.
So how did we go from having one foot out the door to where we are now?
Well, I'm going to share a few of my secrets with you.
Communication. As cliche as this sounds, it really is key. Keeping things in and believing your husband is a mind reader is like driving down a dead end road. It doesn't get you anywhere, and this is where resentment and frustration grows.
Be intentional. Go on date night at least once a month, have fun together, and nourish your marriage. Focus on each other, make time for each other, and your marriage will flourish.
Get physical. I'm not just talking about sex here (but yes, you should be having that too), but physical touch is important in your marriage. Hold hands, hug, and kiss DAILY! Physical touch is a great connector, don't forget about it.
Get vulnerable. If you can't talk to your husband about what you need physically and emotionally, then you need to start. Do you need more support emotionally, help with the kids, more physical touch, more undivided attention? What do you need?
Experiment. In and out of the bedroom. Meaning, if you're tired of the same old, same old, try something new. Spice it up, do something new together, add some excitement and fun into your marriage.
The only way to get the marriage you want, is to get intentional.
I've created an ebook so you can dive deeper into revitalizing your marriage. It comes with some super sexy bonuses, like a 7 Days of Spice Challenge and also a Spice Jar to help you spice things up in and out of the bedroom.
If you're ready to revitalize your marriage, grab your copy HERE.